Gut wrenching, poignant and truthful, are just a few of the things I have to say about the movie I saw on Saturday, “October Baby”. The movie is about a college age girl named Hannah, who discovers not only that she was adopted, but that she was the child of a failed abortion attempt. The movie shares the 180 degree emotional upheavals of her life and her ultimate resolution of these feelings and the discoveries Hannah makes along the way. I don’t want to spoil the movie for those of you who haven’t seen it, so I won’t say more.
First, I want to say, having two adopted children of my own, you should ALWAYS tell them they are adopted. Start when they’re very young with various things that are age appropriate for their understanding, and add to the details as conversations and situations happen, like birthdays and other family members delivering their babies and tell them how their arrival was different into your family, but NO LESS loved, awaited and prayed for. Children are very accepting and curious, and when they grow up in a loving, safe environment, all the questions can be answered with love and respect. Don’t offer more information than is necessary, and let the child take the lead as they grow older and may or may not want more info. Don’t cross bridges that may never need to be crossed, and if the bridges do appear, God in His grace and wisdom will help you with the answers.
The children you adopt know only you as mom or dad unless you adopted older children. You were the one or ones who was there from the beginning, caring, loving, protecting, supplying their every need for life after birth. Believe me, YOU are the parent or parents! You are the “REAL” mom and dad! Because my children are from Korea, people always wanted to know who their “REAL” mom was, and did I know her. Inside I died at their ignorant questions, but I always answered, “I am their REAL mom”, the biological mother’s info was none of their business. In every sense of the word “mother”, I am that person and so grateful to God for His merciful goodness to have my daughter and son . . .
There is a scene in the movie where someone answers Hannah’s questions about her arrival on this earth, and because of some other info she receives at this time, some brutal details are shared with her about the abortion process. I read some media reviews about the movie, and one from the The New York Times equated the movie with false compassion, using the language of fear and guilt and portrays the info given to Hannah in this particular scene as reminiscent to bloody placards used outside of abortion clinics, showing fetal mutilation. Well . . . excuse me, but that is exactly what happens during an abortion, depending upon the method used. The baby IS mutilated and torn apart, to remove it from the mother’s body. Read about abortion procedures such as, suction and curettage or dilation and evacuation.
People are upset when they hear the REAL details, and I would hope to the good Lord, they are. They need to be. What do they think happens, a magic wand is waived over the mother and the baby goes painlessly to heaven? The process is BRUTAL. It’s why pro-life people are so enraged and passionate about letting women know what really happens when they make THE CHOICE.
How does The New York Times critic equate someone loving and caring for someone elses child and raising it as their own, to false compassion? Caring about what happens to the mothers choosing abortion and their physical and mental health, is that false compassion? That boggles my mind. Adoption and truth are the very picture of God’s love, here on earth. There’s been so much purposefully wrong information given to women, so much language strategy used to make people think that unborn children are not human beings by refusing to use the nouns child or baby.
I love all of you reading this. I’m quite passionate about the lives of our little ones, so dependant upon us, and about the lives of women who believe the lie that abortion is the answer to their problem. God is the answer. Only He can resolve what needs to done for the women and their babies.
Give them life. Give the babies a chance.
I do love you. Believe me . . . this is not easy to write about post after post, and it tears my heart out when I think of all the pain and beautifully broken lives in this vast world, where everyone is trying so hard to make the right choices.
You and your children are in my prayers.